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You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone

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  Be honest, do you ever think about your lymph nodes? Do you have any idea where they are? Or what they do? I’m not sure I had ever given them much thought until that is, when I didn’t have them all. Now, I surely miss them!! So, as the sentinel node was cancerous I would have surgery to remove all of the remaining lymph nodes in my left groin. They would all be tested and if negative I could assume that the cancer had not spread beyond the sentinel node. If it had, then we would need to look at the pelvic lymph nodes, where this cancer predictably goes to next. I appreciated the consultant's straightforward talking. I don’t want to beat about the bush. Just call a spade a bloody spade – that is how I deal with life! He proceeded to describe the surgery and the side effects of which 90% of patients experience some, high risk of infection, difficulty with wound healing and lymphedema (swelling of the leg and genitals). Ever the optimist, I was sure I would be in the 10% who...
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Papa Smurf

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  So, the next step on this unplanned journey is a sentinel node biopsy. Blue dye will be injected at the site of the original tumour. Ouch!!! Apparently, this will make its way to the lymph nodes in the groin and by following the route it takes the doctor can identify the sentinel nodes, i.e. the node on each side which is reached first by the dye and would therefore be the first to be reached by any cancer spread. These nodes will be removed and tested. If cancer free it can be assumed that the disease has not spread. Simples! If only. As my original tumour was small it was not anticipated that any further cancer would be found, but as it was aggressive this procedure is a standard precautionary measure The operation should take place in about 3 months’ time. Yes, this would be looming over me for a while but I took encouragement from the lack of urgency We had a long-planned city break planned within this period – no reason not to go, I feel well and will be back in go...
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Cutting A Bit Off

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                                                         Nothing really to report about the pre-op. Blood pressure, weight, height, ECG, blood test and so on. No one can tell me about the upcoming surgery, it is not their remit – understandable. It does feel surreal thought to be at The Christie Cancer hospital. I’ve heard about it, I’ve known people who have been treated there but none of that prepares you for walking through the door as a cancer patient, even if only for a few standard tests to start with. I don’t know what I expected but what I found was a calm and uplifting place, with friendly, professional and efficient staff, clearly empathetic and conscious of patient’s anxieties but not making a big thing about it. For the most part, the next week I was just pleased that it was happening so quickly. I genuinely thought, the soone...
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Making Sense Of It All

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                                                     I am accustomed to strategizing and action planning, setting targets and goals, having a vision and a mission statement. I needed to apply some of this to my health now. I needed to find things out, I needed to get things down on paper (or screen), organised and structured and as far as possible I needed a plan. But for what? I needed a plan for finding out what I needed to know to help me plan. Brain Mash! As I have said, I’m not that good with uncertainty but I had to learn to manage it! I excused myself from work duties and took myself for a walk, a chance to calm myself and think through what I wanted to achieve. I decided to read up about penile cancer, everything I could find out, from the reputable medical sites and also, real life stories, what were people’s actual experiences? And I ne...
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First Thoughts

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  So, I’ve just been referred to the cancer hospital and will likely have surgery on my dick within a month. Ouch!!! The next hours through the evening and a largely sleepless night are just brain mash, thoughts coming and going, rapidly and randomly. It was exhausting, It must be Ok – he said he thought it had been found early   But I’m going to have an operation within a month, surely it would not be so fast without any concerns Will I end up feeling less of a man How do I tell my mum I’ve got this cancer? What happens next How do I fit work in, will I need time off and how much? It will be fine - he said he thought it had been found early But I’m going to have an operation within a month, surely it would not be so fast without any concerns I want to go on holiday, we’re booked to go in 4 weeks. Will we get the money back? When will I get a date for the operation? The sooner the better. Will it hurt? How much? For how long? It will be fine - h...
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The Exploration

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  For a number of years, I had suffered from (I believe) an auto-immune skin condition, Lichen Sclerosis,  (other spellings are available) which caused flare ups of, for me, red patches on my glans. They were not especially itchy or even sore for that matter, just annoying. I had seen a urologist once who did not show any concern at all, just told me to get some steroid cream and it should disappear, although likely reappear periodically, which it did. This time perhaps it was more stubborn. We had gone to Spain for a long weekend for our wedding anniversary, three nights at a casita renovated by a former colleague of my wife’s, part of a larger rural complex they had bought after quitting the British rat race a few years earlier. The style was sort of shabby chic, top end and a delight to stay there. For me though, the huge walk-in rain shower was the highlight, somewhere I spent longer than I might usually, escaping the 40-degree heat. So, I had a bit of an "explore", ...
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                                                   Welcome to the Dicksplorer Blog   So, you’ve landed here because you have penile cancer, someone close to you has penile cancer, or maybe you were just searching for cock. Sorry to disappoint, nothing sexual here, and no dick pics, but why not hang around, read on, and see what you learn. By way of introduction, I am Stu, 50 something husband, adoptive dad, with a long career in charity leadership and now with a diagnosis of the little-known penile cancer. First discovered in July 2023 and now, several operations and a brutal chemo programme later it is February 2025 as I pull my notes together and create this blog. I’m now 4 months on from a terminal diagnosis, giving me maximum one year, if I respond well to chemo, maybe 6 months if I don't. I’m not ready to fit nicely into the statistics though,...
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