Welcome to the Dicksplorer Blog
By way of introduction, I am Stu, 50 something husband,
adoptive dad, with a long career in charity leadership and now with a diagnosis
of the little-known penile cancer. First discovered in July 2023 and now, several
operations and a brutal chemo programme later it is February 2025 as I pull my notes
together and create this blog. I’m now 4 months on from a terminal diagnosis,
giving me maximum one year, if I respond well to chemo, maybe 6 months if I don't. I’m not ready to fit nicely into the statistics though,
I will do my utmost to still be adding to this blog for much more than a year.
I’m not going down without a fight. The gloves are off.
The doctors are very clear, the prognosis is measured in
months not years and the research studies don’t offer anything better. Whilst
survival rates are fairly good for early-stage disease, when it has spread as
far as mine now has (para-aortic lymph nodes) then you’re looking at 0% beyond
a year, not even 1%!
I am stubborn, bloody minded and like a challenge. I will do my best to buck the trend and to rewrite the narrative.
I’ll start uploading more sections over the coming weeks, fairly regularly until my story is up to date, and as I have said,
hopefully for some time thereafter.
As men of a certain age, I think we are all aware of
prostate cancer, we probably all know someone, or at least know of someone who
has had it, and in many cases had successful treatment. And testicular cancer
too, has a reasonably high profile. For many years now social media in
particular has regularly reminded me to have a good old feel of my balls, it
would have been rude not to.
But penile cancer, who bloody knew?
On diagnosis I was eager to find out all I could. It seems
maybe about 500 cases are recorded in the UK each year, only one for every
hundred or more cases of prostate cancer. I looked at the NHS website, and
other reputable sites such as Macmillan and read about the various symptoms,
options for treatment and the fairly high survival rates if discovered early.
Maybe this wasn’t going to be that bad after all. I also worked my way around a
few academic research reports which didn’t quite give the same level of hope,
although of course, they often involved studies of men with later diagnosis
and/or advanced disease only.
But what I wanted more than anything was to read about real
life experiences, from the perspective of those with this wretched disease.
What was it really like? How did you feel about it? How did it work out? What
have you learnt? How did you tell people? And so on…
But there really isn’t that much out there to be found. I discovered
one book and the “Knob Blog”, both very helpful in different ways, along with a few
short articles and that seemed to be it.
For various reasons I will cover later, I decided early on
to take a deep breath and to be up front, open and honest about having penile cancer, raising awareness within my own reach. Now, I’ve taken the decision
to step that up, put my story and my experience out there, hoping it can help
others following on behind me.
Although rare, the symptoms, the treatment, the prognosis
and the impact on lives varies extensively. A diagnosis does not in any way
give a clear picture of what will follow. Maybe I can add another perspective
from my own experience.
So, this is my story of not just having cancer, but having
cancer in my knob, and all that means, not just physically but mentally and
emotionally. It still does feel as if there is an unspoken stigma. There are
some dark times, some confusing times and some downright funny times. I write
as it is, there isn't much point if I don't. If that’s OK, read on. As I say, if my story
can inform, encourage or inspire anyone, then it is worth telling, or if the
awareness can help someone get a diagnosis soon enough to be successfully
treated then I am more than happy to have found purpose in the situation.
Stu you f*****g legend! Amazing that you’re taking your ever more precious time to bother to raise awareness of this horrible cancer when there are qualified medical professionals who can’t be arsed. Well done on behalf of all men!
ReplyDeleteStephen's like you ups and downs but still here
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